You're holding it all together, but inside, it feels like too much.
You’re tired, overwhelmed, and questioning yourself.
You push yourself to meet every expectation, but it never feels like enough. The constant pressure—whether from work, family, or cultural values—leaves you drained. On the outside, you seem fine, but inside you’re weighed down by self-doubt, guilt, and the fear of letting people down.
You feel like you’re failing, even when you’re doing everything right.
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At the same time, you feel torn between who you’re supposed to be and who you really are. It’s exhausting to juggle everyone’s needs while quietly ignoring your own. Even moments of rest don’t feel restful, because your mind doesn’t stop replaying worries, shoulds, and what-ifs.
WELCOME.
My name is Jessica Lan
I'm a first-generation Asian American Licensed Therapist (LMFT#134412) providing mental health services in Los Angeles and throughout California via online therapy.
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As a first-generation Asian American, I understand what it’s like to feel the weight of cultural expectations, the pull between different worlds, and the pressure to appear “fine” on the outside while struggling inside. My lived experience allows me to connect with clients in a way that honors both cultural identity and personal healing.
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Born and raised in the East Bay Area, I now serve clients from my home base in the Greater Los Angeles region, as well as the San Francisco Bay Area, San Diego, Orange County, and surrounding communities. I’m especially committed to supporting Asian and Asian American communities and first-generation clients in navigating cultural pressures while fostering healing, resilience, and connection. My work is also dedicated to amplifying Asian mental health, creating space for stories and voices that deserve to be seen and heard.
01.
Pressure to Meet Expectations
Feeling like you’re never enough or constantly striving to meet the high expectations of your family or culture.
02.
Overwhelm and Burnout
Struggling to juggle multiple responsibilities—career, family, personal goals—without feeling drained or at your breaking point.
03.
Conflicted Identity
Difficulty reconciling your personal desires with your family’s expectations, leading to confusion or a lack of fulfillment.
04.
Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Constantly questioning your abilities or worth, especially when feeling misunderstood or unsupported by others.
05.
Chronic Stress and Anxiety
Persistent feelings of stress, anxiety, or worry, especially related to meeting societal or family standards of success.
06.
Generational & Cultural Conflict
Tension between your values or choices and those of your family, often leading to feelings of isolation or alienation.
07.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries
Struggling to assert yourself or establish healthy boundaries, leading to emotional exhaustion or resentment.
08.
Emotional Suppression or Disconnection
Difficulty expressing emotions or addressing personal struggles, often due to cultural or familial expectations to save face.
09.
Feeling Stuck in Patterns
Repeating unhelpful behaviors or thought cycles, despite wanting change, leading to frustration and a sense of being trapped.
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
If you recognize these experiences in yourself, you’re not alone and these feelings and experiences are valid. Navigating the complex pressures of cultural expectations, personal goals, and emotional challenges can feel overwhelming and isolating. It’s common to struggle with balancing multiple roles while trying to honor both your identity and your family’s values.
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The good news is that these patterns, while deeply ingrained, are not permanent. With compassionate support and practical tools, it’s possible to gain clarity, build resilience, and cultivate a sense of fulfillment and empowerment. This journey takes patience and courage, but every step forward brings you closer to living a life that feels authentic and aligned with your true self.
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Remember, growth often begins with small, intentional changes that build momentum over time. Healing isn’t linear, and there will be ups and downs, but with consistent support, you can learn to navigate these challenges with greater confidence and balance.